<title>Being a sysadmin</title>
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<h2>Dealing with being a sysadmin</h2>

<h4>5.1)  <br><a name="caffeine">Caffeine and other Recreational Pharmaceuticals</a></h4>

<dl>
<dt>Caffeine:
        <dt>Much information about this can be found on
        <a href="news:alt.drugs.caffeine">alt.drugs.caffeine</a>
<br>
See
<a href="http://homepage.seas.upenn.edu/~cpage/caffeine/FAQmain.html">their FAQ</a>
<dt>Booze:
        <dd>See rec.food.drink.*.  Myself, I prefer coding after a six-pack
        of Samual Smiths Oatmeal Stout, but you are welcome to your beverage
        of choice.  Booze, particularly in large quantities, often makes
        dealing with lusers much more interesting. Ciders have been spoken
        of highly; myself I stick with Woodchuck (at $3 for a 1.5Litre
        bottle, it can't be beaten), but there are various other choices.
        Unfortunately, really good cider is hard to find in many places.
</dl>
We had an informal survey into the ASR booze of choice, and the only thing
was resolved interms of ASR beer preference is that yes, there is indeed
a lot of choice. (Oh, and that ASR readers have excellent taste)
<p>
There are lots of net resources for this.  I recommend
<a href="news:alt.drunken.bastards">alt.drunken.bastards</a>
Try <a href="http://www.mindspring.com/~jlock/">this</a> for beer info.
<p>
For more interesting things, rec.drugs.* can help you.
See <a href="http://www.hyperreal.com/drugs/">this page</a> for more info
(for educational use only, I'd never, etc etc)

<h4>5.2)  <br><a name="excuse">The excuse server</a></h4>

This is an important net resource, that lets you give the exact reason
why you can't do something yesterday.

See http://www.engr.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofhserver.html
Or telnet bofh.engr.wisc.edu 666

<h4>5.3)  <br><a name="insults">The insults server</a></h4>

Once you have got rid of your lusers, you will probably want to tell them
what they really are.  For this, the insults server is useful.

telnet insulthost.colorado.edu 1695

<h4>5.4)  <br><a name="wrists">Should I slit my wrists across or downwards?</a></h4>

Downward.  For more information on interesting methods, see the
<a href="http://www.ctrl-c/~ingvar/methods/">alt.suicide.holiday faq</a>.

<h4>5.5)<br> <a name="tools">Sysadmin Tools</a></h4>

There are a number of tools that make being a sysadming important.  Most
important are chemical by nature; see <a href="#caffeine">5.1</a>.  A
particularly
useful tool, revered by many of ASR, is the noble chocolate covered
coffee bean.  Since these may be hard to find, here are some places
where they have been spotted:
<p>
<b>Manchster, UK</b>:  Coffee shop at Piccadilly railway station<br>
<b>Christchurch, NZ</b>:  Discoveries, on Victoria St.<br>
<b>UK</b>:  Sainsbury's.<br>
<b>Madison, WI, US</b>:  Copps Food Center.<br>
<b>Toronto, CA</b>:  The Country Kitchen, Eglington Station.<br>
<b>Bar Harbor, MA, US</b>: Ben and Bills Chocolate Emporium (these do mail order)<br>
<p>
You can also make your own.  Melt some chocolate, place some coffee beans
in it, and Bjorn Stronginthearm's your uncle!
<p>
For a stronger caffeine hit, try
<pre>
    D&E Pharmaceuticals & Nutritionals
    206 Macopin Road
    Bloomingdale, NJ 07403
    1-800-221-1833
</pre>
With a large selection of legal stimulants.
<p>
Next in line is a good LART.  A 2x4 works fine, but a real professional
needs something a little more effective.  Unfortunately, this is a very
personal thing, and no consensus has yet been reached on the group.
Everything from a simple, 7.65mm Walther (for the Bond fans only, it's not a
very good gun) to a 155mm with
depleted Uranium rounds has been suggested, some even going for exotic
things like Thermite, nukes or flamethrowers.
For further info, look at the
<a href="http://www.teleport.com/~dputzolu/">rec.guns home page</a>
<p>
You can find a lot of cool stuff at Military Surplus stores.  (Sadly, they
don't sell the <ul>really</ul> interesting surplus stuff)
Try US Cavalry, 1-800-777-7732.
<p>
When you can't use the LART (eg, you don't want to damage a computer),
water pistols and Nerfs are excellent substitutes.  Nerfs, for those of
you outside the US, are a range of foam weapons.  Don't leave ~ without
it.
<p>
The leatherman is another useful tool.  The Perl of swiss army knifes, this
shouldn't be too hard to find.
<p>
Finally, there are some tools a sysadmin is forbidden from having.  Adequate
computing power is first on this list, but the most important is called a
"life".
<i>[ FAQ maintainerss note:  could someone send me some info on this?  I've
heard of it, but never had one.  I have been told it is a simulation
environment of cellular automata.]<br>
[ HTML converter's note: Me too ]</i>

<h4>5.6)<br> <a name="psychass">Psychiatric Assistance</a></h4>

If you are reading this, you need it.  Contact your health insurance, and
look at the <a href="http://www.cmhcsys.com/welcome.htm">Mental health net</a>.
<p>
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