Shaq Buys Bill Gates
ac1e57e793888979ca2d9969ac6b5c10<html><head><title>Caption This Picture!</title></head>
<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF">
<img src="bill.gif">
<p>
The <em>Spy</em> caption for this picture, taken after a celebrity
auction, was, "Shaquille O'Neal shows off his new $75 a week
houseboy." Pretty funny, but surely you can do better than that!
So click <a href="mailto:jkwhardcore@hotmail.com">here</a> to mail me your
caption for this picture of Bill getting carried away, Armani shoes
and all. I'll put the funny ones on this page, although I will
probably not have time to reply to individual messages. I've gotten
some great ones so far:
<p>
<em>Hey, Mr. Big! I said I wanted a snaq not a shaq!</em><br>
(from bolinb@cadvision.com)
<p>
<em>Fame and Fortune Have Gone To His Head!<br>
Bill Insists on Being Carried Everywhere.</em><br>
(from rhoadsc@fast.net [Christine J. Rhoads])
<p>
<em>Obviously, this is a picture of Bill Gates's new book - The Road
Ahead, Part II...Lost in Cyberspace.</em><br>
(from schen@cnct.com [Sherman Chen])
<p>
<em>Shaq sez: "I'm gonna slam dunk this muthafuc*a..."</em><br>
(from superdan@krypton.mankato.msus.edu [Dan Bailey])
<p>
<em>Shaq's new laptop</em><br>
(from 103043.1271@compuserve.com)
<p>
<em>Bill smiled as the baby sitter said, "If you go to bed now like a good
boy, Billy, I'll tell your parents and maybe they will let you play with
the computer tomorrow."</em><br>
(from nightbrd@humboldt1.com [Doug Myers])
<p>
<em>The seven-foot-tall baketball center denies reports he married for
money.</em><br>
(from tussing@husc.harvard.edu [Justin Tussing])
<p>
<em>"Good, and another million if you give me a piggy back ride to Burger
King."</em><br>
(from fnotaro@castle.net [Frank Notaro])
<p>
<em>Take me to your barber, I could use a haircut like yours...</em><br>
(from ssax@spider.lloyd.com)
<p>
<em>A LIGHT SNACK</em><br>
(from kitkat4888@aol.com)
<p>
<em>..and the geeks shall inherit the earth...</em><br>
(from bmarefat@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu [Babak Marefat])
<p>
<em>Shaquin' up with Bill</em><br>
(from ktribble@coe.uga.edu [Kelly Tribble])
<p>
<em>Arnold and Danny DeVito move over...it's "Twins: The Second Batch"!</em><br>
(from ooch@wam.umd.edu [Ooch])
<p>
<em>Evidently, money CAN buy everthing!</em><br>
(from gwalker@bml.ca [Graham Walker])
<p>
<em>After borowing a pair of Armani's from O.J., Shaq puts his shine boy back up
on the shelf.</em><br>
(from Italian300@aol.com [George Mancuso])
<p>
<em>"Look Bill, no hands!"</em><br>
(from mscarne@postoffice.utas.edu.au [Matt])
<p>
<em>"He's really got nice hands!" --Bill Gates</em><br>
(from davnad@cbvcp.com [Nadeen and David Warren])
<p>
<em>Shaq says, "Shut up and smile for the camera - you weigh more than an XT
and you're twice as slow!"</em><br>
(from cpage@iinet.net.au [Clint Page])
<p>
<em>"He ain't heavy...He's my brutha!"</em><br>
(from mrfixit@cdsnet.net [Marty])
<p>
<em>"Where did you say the shredder was?"</em><br>
(from ralph@falcon.cc.ukans.edu [Ralph P. Reed])
<p>
<em>"That's right. 1/2 the profits from 95, or I drop you again."</em><br>
(from obremski@fdu.edu [Greg Obremski])
<p>
<em>Shaq: Admit that 95 sucks, or I break you like a fuckin twig.<br>
Gates: YesSIR!</em><br>
(from shadwrnr@jax-inter.net [Holden Shearer])
<p>
<em>I'll show ya how ta slam dork!</em><br>
(from TAronson@ci.hemet.ca.us [Tom Aronson])
<p>
<em>Uhhh, Ma'am, you dropped this a couple of miles back from the top of
your car, is it yours?</em><br>
(from nap@stic.net)
<p>
<em>Hey Mom, look what I found - - - can I keep him . . . ?</em><br>
(from kellyjp@ibm.net)
<p>
<em>"Bill, it's just a publicity shot..GET YOUR HAND OFFA MY BALLS!!"</em><br>
(from dblake@stellar.bc.ca [Dave Blake])
<p>
<em>Bill Gates demonstrates what critics fear will happen if the new
Microsoft "Point-and-Click" Constitution is adopted by Congress.</em><br>
(from bsummers@telepath.com [Bob Summers])
<p>
<em>Shaq, If you drop me, you'll find out why I'm left handed.</em><br>
(from cja1@airmail.net [C.J. Armstrong])
<p>
<em>Once over the threshold, it's legal!</em><br>
(submitted by sharkmaw@eden.com [Laura Shaw] for a friend who wishes
to remain anonymous)
<p>
<em>Satan says your time's up, you've got to go!</em><br>
(from sharkmaw@eden.com [Laura Shaw])
<p>
<em>Cash & carry</em><br>
(from lucky@stpb.soft.net)
<p>
<em>We've got to quit meeting like this!</em><br>
(from SynQu@aol.com)
<p>
<em>Shaq: "Umm...miss...remember to bring a shovel the next time you walk your
dog."</em><br>
(from gameboy@kfmw.net [Robert Swackhamer])
<p>
<em>"Was it really you that said Netscape Navigator users were sissies,
Bill?"</em><br>
(from mcspencer@direclynx.net [Mark Spencer])
<p>
<em>"See, I told you I could; he isn't that heavy. Now, you hold him, Steve,
while I get the shovel." --Shaq to Steve Jobs</em><br>
(from shaycrk@mother.com)
<p>
<em>Shaq: "I found him on the lawn holding a lantern again!"</em><br>
(from quincy@ccnn.net [Quincy])
<p>
<em>After buying Windows '95 and getting fed up with using the Microsoft
helpline, Shaq desperately decides to take tech support into his own
hands.</em><br>
(from toasters@znet.com [mike])
<p>
<em>"Gee, I never thought 20 billion dollars would ever feel this
light!"</em><br>
(from icom@cadvision.com [Armando Ruggeri])
<p>
<em>[cover of Forbes] SPECIAL ISSUE: The things money can buy but we'd
rather not know about</em><br>
(from pmarker@raider.grcc.cc.mi.us)
<p>
<em>"...Which way to the window?"</em><br>
(from TIER-1@worldnet.att.net [Agent])
<p>
<em>"I love him as much as all my other kids, he's just a little
different."</em><br>
(from kchern@vossnet.co.uk)
<p>
<em>"I warned you, one way or the other I WILL get Microsoft product
support."</em><br>
(from Michael.Lewin@cern.ch [Mike Lewin])
<p>
<em>After a few hands of five card stud, settling with the lawyers,
accountants, Bill gets carried home with just the clothes on his
back.</em><br>
(from lost@wwa.com [lost on the net])
<p>
<em>"Hey everybody, look what I found in the 'hood! A cute l'il *white*
boy! Let's have a cook out!"</em><br>
(from aitch@ozemail.com.au [Paul Hallett])
<p>
<em>DROP HIM SHAQ! Preferably down a 100 mile gorge. I want my Mac back!
AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH</em><br>
(from conniegn@microlink.net [Connie Goodnow])
<p>
<em>"If I put a lantern in his hand, do you think the neighbors will
be upset if I put him on the front lawn? "</em><br>
(from CFubar@aol.com)
<p>
<em>"But Shaqy, I don't want to take a bath!"</em><br>
(from 1120vmx1@inet.westshore.cc.mi.us [VmadameX])
<p>
<em>Slam This!</em><br>
(from user2@m.batc.tec.ut.us [User2])
<p>
<em>Bill, I'll give you 10 seconds to move your hand, or I WILL slam dunk
ya!</em><br>
(from banks2@discover-net.net [Dick Banks])
<p>
<em>"Hey, Shaq,... is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just
happy to see me?"</em><br>
(from johnl@omeganet.es [John and MaAngeles Love])
<p>
</body></html>
© 2012 Packet Storm. All rights reserved.
%7Cutmcsr%3D(direct)%7Cutmcmd%3D(none)){kind=small}
Follow us on Twitter
Follow us on Facebook
Subscribe to an RSS Feed
Comments
No comments yet, be the first!