Bill Gates' Favorite Anti-Unix Jokes
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<HEAD>
<TITLE>Anti UNIX/MS-Windows jokes</TITLE>
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<H1>Jokes</H1>
<H2>Anti UNIX:</H2>
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<LI>If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question.
<LI>Unix is the only virus with a command-interface.
<LI>How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an
operating system from 1978 (VMS)?
<LI>Unix - the first computer virus.
<LI>NFS = Nightmare File System.
<LI>Berkeley is famous for LSD and BSD UNIX. I don't think that is a
coincidence.
<LI>Sure, the Unix file system corrupts your files, but look how fast it is!
<LI>Friends don't let friends use Unix.
<LI>Unix - the ideal operating system for CPU's that are never powered up.
<LI>Nothing wrong with Unix that a total redesign and rewrite can not fix.
<LI>UNIX will be preempted by NT. UNIX doesn't know it yet - it won't notice
until it's too late, because UNIX is the Yugoslavia of software, at war with
itself -- but it's all over.
<LI>The users of Unix systems said speed wasn't an issue when the Alpha chip
was released. The same people tell their wives and girlfriends that size
doesn't matter.
<LI>If Unix were a beer, then it would be shipped in open casks so
that anybody could piss in it before delivery.
<LI>UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
<LI>UNIX is akin to a religion to some. If things aren't done like they are in
UNIX, then they must be bad. Sorry, I don't believe in this religion.
<LI>UNIX is a four-letter word!
<LI>VI = Virtually Incomprehensible.
<LI>Unix is about as user friendly as a blow in the back from an ice-pick, only
not quite as productive.
<LI>What has happend, when a system-manager gets gray-haired in one day ?
One day with a UNIX system !
<LI>How do you pronounce UNIX ? You Nix !
<LI>Cretin and UNIX both start with C.
<LI>The scariest thing about Jurassic Park was that the control systems
were Unix.
<LI>Why is using a UNIX system like being an Enuch? Everytime you go
to do something important, you realize something critical is missing.
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