Remembrances of Things Past


                     When Shannon was a river
                        and Turing was a car
                     When Banyan was a tree
                        and buses travelled far

                     dBase was where you ran to
                        after you hit the ball
                     Often we were ANSI
                        RISC aversive not at all

                     Windows were for looking out of
                        in a Tandem, two could take a spin
                     Bridges were for crossing
                        a frame was to keep pictures in

                     A semi-conductor was a maestro
                        not in the big time yet
                     A port you sought in a storm
                        fishermen used a net

                     Woody Guthrie sang of "My LAN"
                        WAN was a despairing mood
                     LATAs were for high places
                        menus featured food

                     If a cursor used four letter words
                        a sensor cut them out
                     The sight of a mouse in an office
                        was sure to raise a shout

                     Haloid perfected photocopying
                        and thereby made a hoard
                     Then came Japanese competition
                        and its "ox" was gored

                     Frequency was measured in cycles
                        Hertz referred to multiple pain
                     Modem was a harvesting command
                        for bringing in the grain

                     Modelling was at fashion shows
                        bauds were ladies of the night
                     Prompting was helping actors
                        contesting for resources, a fight

                     Walking and chewing gum concurrently
                        requires considerable skill
                     We called it multi-tasking
                        and by gosh we always will

                     We had no electronic calculators
                        just slide rules by Keuffel & Esser
                     I am still a true believer
                        Keufel & Esser war besser

                     Chips were used for gambling
                        von Neuman was a pup
                     Monte Carlo a place to visit
                        squaring the circle ... well, we gave up

                     A Sprint was less than 880
                        a relay was a team
                     Greene was just a color
                        breaking up AT&T a dream

                     Coherent was applied to speech
                        not a spectral line excited
                     Multi-media meant prose and song
                        and Noel Coward was knighted

                     Cerf was found at the beach
                        a Rose was a Rose was a Rose
                     Jobs were to look for
                        and Gates were to close

                     "2B" was an elementary school class
                        and "D" a failing grade
                     A router was a tool
                        a server was a maid

                     Lotus was a flower
                        adobe was a brick
                     Postscript was an afterthought
                        joy a popsicle stick

                     We called a plotter a CAD
                        a token ring a sham
                     A buffer was for buffing
                        a male goat was a ram

                     The best noise supressor was ... ssh
                        we knew little of egos and ids
                     For archival storage and encryption
                        we looked to the pyramids

                     Now in accordance with Greenfield's Law
                        in voice both loud and clear
                     Here's to exponential growth in memory
                        & operating speed next year.
                                             --srg