Microsoft HQ Moves to S. Georgia
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<title>Microsoft Headquartered in South Georgia</title>
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<center><h2>Microsoft Headquartered in South Georgia</h2></center>
<center><b>Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia</b></center>
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1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders<br>
2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle<br>
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag <br>
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"<br>
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos <br>
6.The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse<br>
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck<br>
yelling "Freebird!"<br>
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart<br>
9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"<br>
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++" <br>
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag <br>
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word <br>
13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers. <br>
14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"<br>
15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz" <br>
16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am <br>
17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse<br>
18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver <br>
19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire... <br>
20. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars
in your front yard<br>
21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator<br>
22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates<br>
23. Instead of computer golf, the games of choice would be:<br>
a. Interactive WWF Rasslin' (That's wrestling for you culturally deprived types)<br>
b. Beer bottle toss at roadsigns<br>
c. Mud Boggin'<br>
d. 'Bacca spittin' at insects<br>
24. Instead of MS "virus scan", it would be MS "Cooties (Lice) Rinse"<br>
25. Not "config.sys" and 'autoexec.bat"-- but "conjugate w/sis" and "autoparts.bunch"<br>
26. Instead of error tones, misstruck keys would be met with sound of "Aww Sheeit"<br>
27. Solitare would offer choice of "number of players"<br>
28. Icon for mail trashcan shaped like a Dipsey Dumpster.<br>
29. All shapes in Tetris would be same-sized squares.<br>
30. Favorite adult www homepage would involve pictures of "sexy" farm animals.<br>
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© 2012 Packet Storm. All rights reserved.
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